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“By the time I was able to wrap my head around what was happening, Hef had already moved on to Candice, then to a few of his actual girlfriends before finishing himself off as he always did.” A recent US Weekly excerpt revealed that Hefner offered Madison a Quaalude the first night he met her at a club, calling it a “thigh-opener.” Over time, she writes, he became so emotionally abusive that Madison contemplated suicide.

In the book, on sale this Tuesday, Madison flirts with a more shocking accusation.

Holly Madison is not afraid to speak out about her years as a Playboy bunny.

“It was a constant struggle,” Madison told PEOPLE of her seven years living at the Playboy Mansion with former boyfriend Hugh Hefner. Holly: “Vicky [another one of Hef’s girlfriends] was eager to bring as many girls up into the bedroom as possible.

On jealousy Holly: “Suddenly, Playmates who had once mocked me were kissing my ass, bringing me gifts and showering me with compliments now that I was Hef’s No. The sudden shift in the way some of those girls acted was completely obvious and shameless, but I suppose they thought I was too dumb to notice or that I would be so grateful to be treated kindly for a change that I wouldn’t object.” Kendra: “Nights were hard because while my Playmate friends got to go out and party, I would have to be home by 9 p.m.

I’d get a text message from a girl that read, ‘Having so much fun in Vegas. Partying with all these football players,’ and that was devastating.

Even though I hardly knew him yet, I saw a sweet man who made me feel really good about myself – a true gentleman.

It was weird, but in my heart, I felt like he was someone I could possibly trust.” 4.

“It was so brief that I can’t even recall what it felt like beyond having a heavy body on top of mine,” Madison writes.

On relationships with the other Bunnies Holly: “Leaving the other girls in her wake, Vicky charged up to my side of the bed, her nostrils flaring like an enraged bull and her fists clenched at her side.

She came on so aggressively I worried she might hit me. I’d seen some girlfriends resort to throwing punches over things as trivial as someone cutting the bathroom line at a nightclub.” Kendra: “During that first season, Bridget, Holly, and I continued to keep our distance, except when we were filming.

I felt so trapped and angry when I was missing out on something good.” 7.

On fame Holly: “Like me, Marilyn [Monroe] had suffered at the hands of some not very nice men.

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