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Teen movies and TV shows sold us a pretty unrealistic vision of what having sex for the first time looks like.It’s always perfectly choreographed and mood-lit and romantic, and ends in an implied simultaneous orgasm. Don’t expect fireworks the first time you have sex — sex is messy and human and flawed and often awkward whether it’s your first time or your thousandth.It’s the practice and the exploration that make sex fun.If you and your boo are significantly different sizes, sex may present some logistical challenges — whether you’re attempting to align the body of a basketball player with that of a jockey or a linebacker’s figure with a ballerina’s.

"A lot of people get anxious about sexual performance, but perhaps the best quality in a lover is enthusiasm,” Marin says.

That said, there a handful of insights that can make your first time having vaginal sex comfier, more communicative, and more pleasurable, which are pretty universally great things for sex to be.

Here are nine first-time pointers, with advice from sex therapist Vanessa Marin.

)A common concern is that if you tell your partner something doesn’t feel good — or something else would feel better — they’ll feel attacked.

But if they care about your pleasure, they’ll be happy to hear how to help you feel it.

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