Dating more than one girl once
I wanted to tell her on the first date, but I knew that would probably be weird. She kind of gave me this half-shy, half-amused smile. But as time has gone on, I also realized that she knew something that I didn’t. I tried so hard to keep that fire going, to keep that emotion alight, but it got harder and harder. And what was even more interesting was that once I realized this on a conscious level, and started trying to find more opportunities to give, the more we both, almost intuitively, became lovey-dovey. From the excitement of dating a woman I felt like I could marry. Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating. That’s a recipe for disastrous marriages; for a country with a 50% divorce rate; for adultery (the classic attempt to turn the fire back on); for people who do stay together to simply live functional, loveless marriages. How many people are in pain simply because they’ve been lied to. Like most Hasidic Jews (we both became religious later in life), our dating period lasted a very short time. I mean, how you can feel that burning love when you’re sitting at the table discussing how to use the last twenty dollars in your bank account? How can you feel it when you think it makes perfect sense to put your socks on the floor after you’re done with them, and she has this crazy idea that they need to go in the laundry basket? And now, as I’m a bit older and a bit more experienced with this relationship, I’ve finally come to realize something. So, don’t be mislead by a guy’s affection, and don’t judge his intentions about you based on how much you think he is attracted to you at one given evening when you are out, especially if your date takes place before you had sex with him.This is especially true if the guy seems to be too nice, too sweet and too accommodating.If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t, and if he acts like a sleazy salesman, he might just be looking to score. Some can be exciting adventures which will leave great memories, while others will make you feel dirty and guilty.Knowing how to recognize when a one night stand is coming your way decide whether this is really what you want at that given time with that particular guy.
And that’s why my wife just gave me that half-smile. And now that I’ve tried to change the way I look at love, the more I become shocked at the messages of love I had gotten when I was younger.
If nothing else, understanding this behavior should help any woman, if not avoid, at least handle these experiences better.
It is possible that he does like you, but it’s also possible that he doesn’t have anything better going on at this time, and you are just a “transitory” experience while is looking for someone who he really wants to be with.
And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn’t love. Telling someone you love them doesn’t mean that you do.
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